Wednesday, January 28, 2004

not good not good not good...

i'm sure it happens to all...and then they all say ..."y me"...
hmm
its mt turn to say "y me"...
y shud situations related to one thing go wrong at the same time...god...

poor me!!
hmmmmmmmm
anywayz....

like i always get out of it...i hope this one too vanishes.

Monday, January 26, 2004

mirror image.....

if reflections cud tell what the mind held....
if eyes read what eyes said....
if there was a way of knowing exactly what went on in the mind of the other....
if it wud be remotely possible to understand what nurtured in the expanse of the intriguing labyrinths of the other's mind...

wud ther be any mystery remaining in this world...
wud there b anything remaining in this world?

"understand"....does the word hold a meaning?
i cannot understand myself well....how can i expect to understand the other?

and still we know what goes thru the heart of the other...
and still we can feel what the other feels...
and still we can sense the closeness and the warmth
and still there is more in the world...

and again...still the mystery remains....
and still reigns the uncertainity..

so how do u define "understanding"?
hmmm

Saturday, January 24, 2004

eccentric!!!!

i wonder y it happens that i bump into thots that r sooo eccentric and one tracked...
is it soo difficult to accept that the relationship that exist between two individuals can mean sooo many different things...and not jus the one thing that they always conclude!!!!

i wish the sunrays wud flaunt all their colors.....
always...

well.............!


Friday, January 23, 2004

abstract.........

fragile......
tender.....
blatant....
confused....
wandersome...
gypsy...

subtle...
placid...
calm...

i love traveling...i love journeys.


Wednesday, January 21, 2004

ther r days when u wake up in the morning and go look at urself in the mirror
and u jus gonna know its a bad hair day!!
or u jus know its gonna be a long day!!
or u jus know its gonna be a bad day!!

or u jus know its gonna be ur day...the most awesome day:)!!
usually i associate a bright cheerful sunny morning, sunkissed clear blue skies with that feelin.
but guess what....that feelin comes otherwise also:)....jus like it came by today...

and then u sing and then u smile
and then u let the feelings dance a while
and then u know u ought to go...
coz the bus is ur fate and its not gonna wait...
but still u smile and then think a while
and still it mite happen again
that u try to win the day but its all in vain.
and u trudge home with a heavy heart.
not knowing how to make a new start.
and then again when with the 1st rays of the sun....
u jus know that that day, its gonna be fun.
will i ever fathom this weird game.
it has no rules and its always the same
but still aint it interesting the way each moment
teaches u what life is and what its meant.


Monday, January 19, 2004

jis angan me vo khelti hai....jis ashiyane me unki hasi khilkhilati hai...
mai vahan nahi hoon.
what do they have to loose...nuthin...but i loose out on a lot:(

ther r times when i feel i cud jus simply reach out my hand and feel them and cuddle them the way i did when they were not so far.....
i can see one chasing the other round and round the house.
i see the angelic smiles on ther faces...and hear the carefree mirth in their voices.
ther were 3 earliar...now ther r two of them there....
the 3rd one is here...pretty much unable to decide if she has grown up at all yet or no... really unsure if she wants to grow up or not.

god i miss the kids.:((

...i love myself. yeah i do....

and am I lucky that I am not the only one who loves me:)
....ther r others....who love me more than i can imagine....oh yeah they do.



my mom says this...marry somone who loves u not someone u love...
but isn't it easy to fall in love???
...it is:)
hmmmmmmm

Sunday, January 18, 2004

ther r times u know...when u really really dont feel like doin what u ought to do....
donno y that happens...but its terrible when that happens...especially when u r answerable to somebody else....

and guess what... i am so glad i have just come out of one such phase...
so now at least i know i am doin my best....unlike somtime bac jus sitting around like a good-for-nothing.

:)...
once-in-a-while clouds....
then more rainbows....
more smiles:)....
brightly shinning diamond-snow-flakes...decorating my courtyard with endless glimmers by the nite ..
life is worth living:)


small world eh?????

so easy to find ppl...
(jus as easy to loose them unfortunately....hm:( )

so how relative is the term small???small world...in comparison to what???
and how far are distances???

awww..no not again...i hate this swarm of questions raking my mind....
well....

jus one look around and i can see a 1000 things and more..that i can know more about....and then it feels soo soo bad about having such a non existent existence...
hmmm...welll

i wish i cud jus steal all the time i had and jus simply finish knowing everything.....

but will "everything" ever end...

god i want more time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

lil things that ppl do make a difference.....

lil words that som ppl say linger.....they mite not even realise....that they left an impact....
and its unfair that soooooo many times i dont even get an opportunity to tell them...that ...that what they think matters....

kash it wud be easy to reach out to them all and let them know that they add a shinning shimmer to the ripples of my world. .....hmmmmmmmmm..............
god!!!!!!!!!!!!

wud u believe it.....
:)
:)

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

ther is no smoke without fire....

so how do u explain rain without clouds?
and untimely rainbows....
and dew drops balancing on slippery leaves....

hmmm...ther we go again....questions questions questions....
virtual world.....
trust......
tryst...........

words speak....do they????.....
hmmmmmmmm....

how does the world work???
its not science....
thats not how it works.

reflections....they come bac to u....do they? dont they?
god...i am sooooooooooo filled with all these adoloscent questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

paagal!

Monday, January 12, 2004

silver streaked woods...
foggy smuddgy snows...
lifeless acres...far and wide...
lonely clouds....
hazy vision....dreamy eyes....
once-in-a-while sunshines....
celebration times.
smiles:)


Friday, January 09, 2004

thats winter for u.....

says who that only clouds have silver lining......talk of these leafless trees...so lifeless yet so alive...picture this...
snow snow snow...pure white...till ur eye can see......lil snow flakes perched on the rust-colored branches...so that u can see it as a a brown line covered with a white line.....that almost glows to give a silvern appearence....and wait till u see the sun ray pierce into the white-washed crystals......shining silver merges with auroral gold......

jus a sight thats oh so common......u'l find it everywher....

so much beauty ...everywhere.....

now thats nature...and thats winter for me...freezing....chilling...beautiful.


silvern...silken...silvan

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

sunny side up

its a process....one finishes another starts...

coz i wished the vacation wud ner end.....
but then they'l all tell me...it has to end dear...like all things come to an end...u cannot stop the end from comin..its inevitable..etc etc....

fine fine... i know all that...

but as i said its a process....
and i am glad this one that just got over taught me a lot and i smiled a lot and i grew as a person.
i know its over...and good it did...coz ther is a new one to come.
and its the process that i enjoyed and the memories that i treasure.:)

Friday, January 02, 2004

"detach"...

nice word...and i find it helpful....

i donno how i'd live if i'd not been able to detach...

"commitment"....

again nice word....but mere bheje me nahi baithta...

and then we hav some more blah blah blah....
about frds and love and school and how life is and how vacation is...well...
...hmmm anyways...will continue later...coz i am sleepy now...hehehhehe...
tata
"if wishes were horeses...beggers wud ride "(and they'd ride real fast!!!!)

and then they say

"be careful of what u wish for...for u mite just get it"....
funny how life is full of paradoxes...

anyways..
thots thots thots...
they r always ther...at times i actually tend to forget that ther is a world existing around me..
but unfortunatelly when were i wanna pen dn the thots...i either run out of page or a pen or ink or ther r too many ppl around or i dont have the net or..whatever!! and then when i actually get the time...the thots r not ther...
its like freashly walked footprints on the shore get washed out by the waves..even before registering..

well..ajeeb hai!!!

squeeki wooden floors...
unstable young feet...
unsure final destinations...
anyways...

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