yeah i gotta finsih my thesis and pack stuff and get forms signed and get this done and get that done and finsh this b4 leavin and that b4 leavin etc etc......
i packed th boxes and sent them off too... but it still dindt sink it....
few ppl here and there even made stray remarks of me leaving this place for good. (jus realised 'for good' is a nice euphemetic way to put forever :) ) but those remarks just sounded rather banal matter of facts rather than anything impactful.....so that was about the whole masters thing till a few moments back.
i met dr langner just about 10 mins back. and i spoke to him for about 3 mins......those 3 mins suddenly changed the whole perspective of things.......not that i spoke anything with that regard to him....twas a usual talk where he went thru what he thot of my thesis and said i shud b proud of myself and all that and then as we went thru the flow there suddenly came this one ackward moment where i realised that that would be the last time i see him as dr langner...the man....the guy who just made everything feel so different. and as i was just about to leave he did it yet again.....he suddenly made me feel i really was leavin this place to ner come back. and as i walked out of the office and walked towards the atrium and the glass doors overlooking a sunny cold day with snow thrown around here and there it suddenly became unbearable....the thot of not havin this all around me in a few days.....
it took just 3 mins for me to let it sink it.....what i knew all the while but seemed to ignore till now. the end of one chapter....and as dr langner puts it.....the beginning of a new chapter....
and as bhai puts it finishing of a phase......
all those things.....
all that grandeur and magnificance and emotions attached to this phase. all the everything that it symbolizes to me....and all the everything it has made me and instilled into me. .... didnt realise it till i walked thru the dept after picking up the last piecce of my thesis.
who knows if ill ever come back to rochester NY.....and even if i do there is every possibility it will never spell the same things again ever that it does today and has for the last 2 yrs.....
and here i am.....makin my bunch of keys lighter.....gettin done with responsibilities....gathering pieces and memories i left here and there and everywhere around here thotlessly ... and entering into this new chapter/phase of uncertainity again.....to start with square 1 again.....

i always new i wud miss school....i miss my high school and junior college and undergrad school too.....and its not a surprise to me that i wud miss rit too....
wat was movin was the way i felt just after stepping into the atrium.....whatevah it was....that feeling was unbearable.....and i cudnt deal with it if it had to stay in my mind longer.....and so i ran to the computer to rite it all out.....

i will step into a new phase....
a rolling stone doesnt catch moss they say....something lathat.....
i hope i will b a rolling stone that carries all the moss with me where ever i go.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm